Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
