Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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