Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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