Too much gin, very little bucket
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
