....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Randomize
