Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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