the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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