I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Randomize
