covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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