Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
