I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
MIDGETS
????
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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