Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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