i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
