Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(630): View more from Illinois

the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.

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(248): View more from Michigan

noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.

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(456): View more from

Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here

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(615): View more from Tennessee

you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often

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(732): View more from New Jersey

Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.

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(828): View more from North Carolina

You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.

(828): View more from North Carolina

Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?

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(661): View more from California

reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?

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