You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
