So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
