Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
