I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
He kissed a someone with a penis
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
