Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
