I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
