I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Randomize
