Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
