Porn is love you can see.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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