he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Randomize
