So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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