i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize