Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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