What a fucking waste of an outfit
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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