I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
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the only muscles i have these days is kegels
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
You don't make any sense
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