this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
