what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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