Me too!
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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