dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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