We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
