At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
