I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
