in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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