Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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