I'm sorry my penis didn't work
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
