we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
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When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
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She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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