whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
