Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
