I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
