The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
