I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Fuck appropriateness.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
