People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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