help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
