the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
You can't motorboat a personality
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
