I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
