Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
