hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
