i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
