im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize
