y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
and eventually we just all took our pants off
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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