i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
