dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
