His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Randomize
