first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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