why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
