i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I wear drunk well.
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