fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
