can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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